This weekend I had to say goodbye to my husband for yet another deployment. Even though we have been through this once already, it doesn’t make it any easier. In my opinion, it actually makes it so much harder. With our first deployment, I was fine. I assumed it would go by fast and everything would run smoothly. Well boy was I wrong. If something could go wrong, it went wrong. If someone was going to try and test my patience, they did it to the fullest of their ability. If things were going to be stressful, it was more stressful than one could imagine. So going into this deployment I had several breakdowns ahead of time and couldn’t seem to prepare myself like I did last time.
Although I know I have some of the most amazing friends and family here by my side, it still doesn’t make it easy. But no matter what, I am going to be strong for both my husband and my stepson. If I don’t show my strength, then I have failed as the strong woman I pride myself to be. I will not let anyone break me down no matter how hard they try. I will not let any bumps in the road affect me. And I know I am strong enough to make it through this no matter what is thrown my way. I signed up for this the same day my husband signed the papers to join the Air Force. We are a team!
Today is the second day that we have been apart and I have only had one little meltdown so far. I had a little issue with my phone and I was freaking out because I was awaiting a phone call from my husband and my phone wouldn’t even turn on. So I rushed to the phone store and fortunately it just needed a hard refresh. I even had all the photos I had taken on there and I was so worried I had lost it all. What a relief when the girl turned it on. I guarantee you I would have had a major meltdown right there in the store.
I have already missed a call once today. It is such a horrible feeling when you miss a call and don’t know when you will get another one. The guys are in route to their final destination, so the calls will be sparse until they make it to their final location. Once they get there and get settled in, I am sure the calls and emails will be fairly often like the last deployment. I am not always a huge fan of the convenience of technology. But when my husband is gone like this, I am so thankful for it. When he was in boot camp and there was no way to contact each other besides letters, I was miserable. Never knowing when a letter would come sucked. I wrote letters daily, but they were not as fortunate. But with skype, face time, email, the Magic Jack, and so much more, it’s nearly impossible to not be able to get a hold of each other within a 24 hour period unless they are just off the grid for a mission or something.
Although today is only day 2 of our 5 months away from each other, I am missing my husband like crazy. However, I am also so very proud to be the wife of a US Soldier and USAF Airman. He is my hero and I am honored to be his wife. He is everything to me and going through this with him makes our bond that much stronger.