It has come to my attention recently that a lot of people just have NO clue at all what a military family goes through. We don’t have a normal life. You never know from day to day if your schedule will change. You never know if your spouse will be deployed before their actual scheduled date. And you might as well get used to being a single parent or stepparent, because they are going to be gone a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean more time gone than home.
My husband is in the reserves, but he still works at his home base full time. So he might as well be active. We just have the luxury of not having to move around like active duty. But other than that, everything is the same. He still deploys, gets sent on TDY trips, has to work last minute without any notice, etc. So we pretty much live the same life.
My husband is deploying in about a month, and the time is just flying by. Trying to find any extra time to spend with him is so hard and everything we can think of seems to get in the way. Our work schedules are opposite of each other, so we don’t really see each other during the week. We have managed to handle it very well, but recently I have been having a lot of meltdowns because I know he will be gone soon. I am just always wondering if I am spending enough time with him and feel guilty if I am not with him every moment that we can be. But I guess it’s kind of a good thing, because I certainly don’t want us to be happy about him leaving because we are annoyed with each other.
So with that said, it seems that some people don’t understand that our time is valuable right now and we will most likely be together, rather than making plans to be with our friends and even some family. It is very important to us that we get our quality time together, but some people are selfish and think otherwise. All I can say about that is, I hope that one day they are in the position of sending their spouse off to another country, not even knowing if they will make it back alive. And I hope they know how it feels to know that you will be all alone without a way to contact their spouse for months at a time, and not knowing anything at all while they are gone until you get one of very few phone calls or skype conversations. It’s hard, harder than anything I have ever had to go through and probably harder than anything anyone I know has had to go through aside from losing a loved one. So before any of you ever judge or have something to say about the life of a military family, put yourself in our shoes and see how easy of a road it is to walk.